( Note: This story was for our
Writers' Group monthly assignment. The topic was ‘friendly fire’ which has a military
connotation of course but not so in this story.)
Organ music signaled the bride’s arrival to
the country church. Abbie turned to
watch the very short, very plump bride walk slowly down the aisle with her
father.
Despite her dimensions, the bride had
chosen the latest trend in bridal wear, a sleeveless, strapless torso hugging gown.
‘Sleeves would have been preferable for
those chubby arms.’ She told Ben.
Ben had learnt a few unpleasant things
about Abbie after working with her for 12 years. Abbie was brutally frank and, worse, she was
incapable of whispering.
He wanted her to accompany him to his
cousin’s wedding.
‘Why don’t you take your latest boyfriend,
Sam isn’t it?’ Abbie replied.
‘I need a girlfriend. And you’re a girl and a friend. I don’t normally attend family dos but Sharon is my favourite
cousin.’ He explained.
‘Your family doesn’t know? How can they not know?’
‘Easy.
I left home at 17 for uni. Mum
died shortly after. I was the only child. Dad remarried after a while and started a new
family. I rarely go home. They just think I’m citified.’
‘That, my new boyfriend, is going to cost
you a very very expensive pair of shoes.’
Ben took the opportunity to introduce his
girlfriend to his extended family.
The reception was held in the community
hall. Abbie and Ben were seated at a
table with the bride’s siblings and their partners.
‘I love Sharon .
She is the sweetest girl. No
wonder you love her. But this is getting
out of control.’ She warned him. ‘First Sharon
told me how happy she is that you’ve found someone to love. Then your great aunt May insisted we attend
her 80th birthday party in June.’
‘She’s got dementia. She’s probably already forgotten she met you.’
‘What about those engagement questions?
When we are going to make it official? You’re
both getting long in the tooth! And,
when are you going to make her an honest woman?’
‘Just the usual wedding day banter.’
‘Well, your step-mother wants us to come home
for Easter. We have to do something Ben. If you won’t then I will and it won’t be
pretty!’
When the huge servings of roast meat and
veg arrived at the table, Abbie gasped. ‘This
is three day’s worth of kilojoules. No
chance of a salad I suppose.’
‘Just eat a little, sweetheart.’ Ben encouraged her.
‘I’ve just reached my goal weight. I can’t spoil it with grease and gravy.’ She
insisted. ‘Do you think I should give Sharon a copy of my diet? A little late for the wedding photos though.’
Her dinner partners gasped.
‘Maybe my sister prefers to look like a
woman and not a praying mantis.’ Bruce, Sharon ’s protective older
brother, sneered.
More gasps.
The mudcake and cream dessert arrived at
the table. Abbie immediately pushed it
away.
‘The mudcake is great Abbie. You don’t know what you are missing.’ Bruce called out to her. ‘Here have a taste.’
A spoonful of mud cake flew across the
table and landed on Abbie’s bony chest.
‘Ben!
Did you see that! Do something!’ Abbie insisted.
Ben tried to remove the cake with his
napkin.
Abbie pushed him away, grabbed her dessert,
stood up and walked around the table to stand beside Bruce.
‘Well, Bruce. Because you love it so much, you can have my
share.’ She dropped the dessert into
Bruce’s lap.
Suddenly Abbie felt a second mudcake
assault. This time it landed on her
hip. She turned to see a sheepish Ben
armed with the offending weapon. ‘Ben! How could you?’
‘Sorry sweetheart. It was friendly fire. I swear I was aiming at Bruce.’
Abbie strode back to her seat to confront
Ben. ‘Friendly fire my arse! I have had enough of you and your hillbilly
friends. I am going back to the motel
via the bottle shop. And don’t you dare
follow me!’
With her back to the table, she winked at Ben
and stomped off.
The guests watched her retreat with sighs
of relief and much sympathy for Ben.
The word ‘engagement’ was not uttered
again.
Michelle Keleher 2010 (Copyright)